Old School Reading Rainbow Theme

HAIR TYPE

Is Your Friend Equipped To Be Your Advisor?

Do you have a friend that always wags their trusty index finger in your face about your love life and what direction you should go with it? All friends are not qualified to give relationship advice. Again I repeat, ALL FRIENDS ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO GIVE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE! When seeking advice one must always consider the source. For example, when someone wants a loan they seek out a reliable source that has the funds to lend a loan. People do not go around asking broke people for money. 


Men: When you're hanging with your homeboys and discussing what stage your relationship is at with your girlfriend, try to refrain from seeking advice from the rotten apples in your bunch. If your homeboy is married but unhappy and secretly wishes he was still single, he may not be the best source of advice. He will probably put a wee bit of pressure on you to still hit the streets and "f&*# the hoes." Hopefully you have a strong mind and can sense when the crabs in the barrel are trying to pull you down. First of all, he is probably a little jealous of your "freedom". Secondly, always remember that jealous people are usually unhappy people and you know misery loves company. Or,  a group of your boys are always teasing you about how you're spending too much time with your girlfriend. Isn't one of the reasons she is your girlfriend because you wanted to spend more and more time with her? Plus after a certain age the whole O.C./"bro's before hoes" pledge has to be put to bed. Understood men need that male camaraderie, ok thats completely understandable, but everything has to have a balance. Remember your friends can't take care of you, love you, bare children, or be your backbone like your woman can. Eve came from Adams rib, not Tom, Dick, and Raheem! LOL

Women: I know y'all didn't think I wasn't going to give the real to y'all ladies? I cant leave y'all out. Ok so as women we automatically look to our girls for advice about relationships. We too have to be careful of who we look to for relationship advice, especially because by nature some women are a tad bit cattier than others. If your best friend is single, unhappy, and president of the local male bashing club, talk to your self in public like a crazy person before you even utter a word to her. You know that the first thing out of her mouth will be, "Men ain't sh#&!" Always remember to refer to what you know about your so called advisors personal situation before you seek their help. Friends that are in a good place in life and are a source of positivity for you in other areas will most likely give you non-biast advice. 

Ladies, remember that your relationship with your man is so much different from your relationship with your homegirls. Your man provides a certain intimacy that your friends can never fulfill. Try to find a healthy balance between time with the girls and your time with your honey. 

Remember in a relationship the best person to talk to about how you're feeling is the person your in the relationship with. No one else knows more about what y'all go through together than the two of you!

Team Positive

I wanted to encourage everyone to stay positive this coming school year or on your new/old jobs. When you are being bashed over the head with negativity, take the time to say, "Thank You." I am thankful for being given the opportunity to start graduate school. It was something that originally I never wanted to do but a very important person encouraged me to pursue the goal. Recently I wrote down a list of goals and things that I wanted to make happen for myself. The first thing on that list was pursuing a graduate degree. Although I was hopeful and prayerful about the goal I didn't expect for my very first thing written down would come to pass so quickly.

This has solidified for me that there are great things to come for me. Yes, nothing in this life comes without hardships but in the end I am sure it will all have been worth it. My daily affirmation when faced with a trial, tribulation, or any form of negativity will be to use it as a tool for self-motivation. Every trying time and unkind word spoken to me will be the fuel to me continuing to build the foundation of  better life for myself. I am going to use it to obtain the ultimate goal, being TOTALLY independent. I will make it happen. People always say that when your at the bottom there is no place to go but up. That is exactly where I am headed.

Is He Cheating or Being Emotionally Unfaithful?

The male mind is something that can be very tricky for women to understand. I suggest women take the over flow of emotions that they identify with when trying to understand a man's actions and throw them to the waist side. Place yourself in a very realist borderline pessimistic frame of mind. As we all know, I'm pretty sure the guys will agree with me, men are visual, physical, and sexual by nature. It is apart of their make up to be "hunters" and that these characteristics are all animalistic, I understand the possibility as to how men can physically cheat without being emotionally unfaithful.

SCENARIO I:
Lets paint a picture so that you understand what angle I am coming from. Let's say Brian is out for a night on the town with the boys. While at the club he meets a chick, they exchange a few words and phone numbers. After the club Brian meets up with the chick, has sex with her, gathers his things and goes home to his girlfriend, Sheila. Brian never acted differently towards Sheila and she never found out.

In this scenario, Brian's actions were purely physical. He didn't see the random chick in the club and think, "Oh bump Sheila. I think I just met wifey!" No, his "Johnson" saw something that it wanted and he got it. Brian doesn't love Sheila any less than he did before. He physically cheated. For some men, this act of physical infidelity is minuscule in comparison to being emotionally unfaithful.

SCENARIO II:
Ok so Brian has been promoted at work and is working in a new department at work. He meets Tina who he will have to work closely with on various projects. Over time, Brian and Tina become good friends from working long hours and numerous work related lunches/dinners. Brian and his longtime girlfriend, Sheila still hang out but over time she feels as if he is becoming distant in their relationship. Brian and Tina have shared personal stories and experiences with each other time after time. He starts to feel something for Tina that he is not so sure he feels for Sheila anymore. Brian is unsure what his feelings are exactly but he knows that what ever it is he feels for Tina is overshadowing what he feels for Sheila. He thinks about Tina more and even texts her when he is around Sheila. He doesn't know what to do.

Now in scenario two, it is obvious to see that Brian has become emotionally attracted to and attached to his co-worker Tina. Men are not initially emotional creatures, those are emotions that are acquired over a period of time. During that time Brian, whether deliberately or subconsciously, made it a priority to spend time with another woman other than his girlfriend Sheila. His growing attraction and bond with Tina affected Sheila in a way that she noticed a change in their relationship. A woman can feel when her man is leaving her with an emotional vacancy. Brian was being emotionally unfaithful. He has made an emotional investment in Tina and their friendship.

Although both acts are deplorable situations to experience but we all wish things could be done unto us as we would do unto others but life is full of trials and tribulations. Which would you be able to forgive, your man physically cheating or being emotionally unfaithful?

Running Fast

Moving

Moving quickly through the phases of life

Anticipating the beautiful

Colorful 

Glowing and special changes life has to offer

Working hard

Very hard so that not only will your future with money prosper

but your family

Imagining the fairytale moments known to children

The big castle with the prince on a white horse tucked away in never never land

Living happily ever after

Paying it forward to the man struggling on the street

Glancing

Waving

Smiling at every person that by chance you should meet

Making your parents proud doing what they intended for you to do

Doing all the things they planned for your life the day they bestowed a name upon you

A name that you say with pride

A name that sets you aside from everyone else

The name that you would yell in a sea of 10,000 men with no plans to hide

No plans to hide who you are

Where you have come from

Or where you are going

Being the person that no one has any qualms about adoring

In this life you have grown

and now you stand tall

Taller than those who have tried to push you down

BREAKING POINT

Once I saw that my hair had broken off this much, I couldn't take it anymore. I had reached my "breaking point". So I prepared myself mentally for my B.C. (big chop). I had made up my mind to let go of the length (which was the relaxed ends) and become confident with shorter, HEALTHIER hair! July 3, 2010 was a day of empowerment. 

This is the day I got my hair cut, July 3rd. I loved it, cute lil bob...

Now my hair is at the density that I wanted and always longed for. I will continue to baby and nurture my hair. In the future I will post progression photos of my hair. 

A Moment Of Pearl

Curly Pudding Review

The Sensual Kiss

The power of a kiss is unmeasurable. A kiss can end a heat argument between lovers, soothe ones spirit, cause a skip in someones heartbeat, or seal a commitment that will last forever. Whether it is a bird peck, eskimo kiss, forehead kiss or a french kiss they all can ignite an intensity. The mere act of a kiss can be considered as endearing, heart felt, and passionate. When you kiss the right person and the correct moment, each time can be engrained into your memory. 

If your chemistry with that person is well balanced the kisses you share can be magical. Whether it is the first kiss or the one on the way out the door this morning, they are all memorable. If a kiss is really good and sensual, it can leave you think about it periodically through out the day. The art of kissing has been thrown by the waist side. Either people share kisses with random people or they have forgotten about the power of a kiss. 

Remember your first time with your significant other, didn't it all start with a kiss? I highly doubt that memorable and progressive moment in the relationship started with one of you rushing to get down to "business". There are so many couples that have forgotten to kiss one another. It's an easy way to read your partners tempo for how things will go later on in the evening. Whats the rush anyway? Its a fun way to elongate and explore each other.

Toxic People

Have you ever had an acquaintance, friend turned "frienemy", or relative that deserved to have this picture as their contact photo in your cell? There are some people that just ooze negativity and are an instant kill buzz. I wonder why is it that we keep these toxic people around. It's strange that sometimes the most negative person you know seems to have nine lives with family and friends.

Personally, I have a very small group of friends and that is primarily by choice. I chose to do a "cleanse" of those I felt served no purpose in my life. When I felt people were takers and never givers in the friendship I had with them, I quickly cut them off. If someone wasn't returning the same positive vibes I exuded out into the universe, they were cut from my team. You have to be on a constant path of positivity to be apart of my life. If you're going in a certain direction in life I would think you would want to surround yourself with like minded people. Just because you have known a person for a certain amount of time doesn't guarantee them a spot in your life. 

When you look up one day wondering why your drained after talking to a friend because you felt as if you have been talking in circles, it isn't hard to figure out. Some people aren't at a point in their life where they are comfortable enough with themselves to be open minded, motivated, and supportive of others. When I pledged into my sorority, I learned that I have control in every aspect of my life. Something so simple had never been clear to me before that process. So if I have control over who is in my life and if I don't like how they treat me, then why keep them around? If the mere act of talking or interacting with someone is mentally draining on a regular basis then that means they were only meant to last a season in my life and not my lifetime! Positive thoughts+positive people+positive actions= POSITIVE RESULTS!!!

The Forehead Kiss

Many women are baffled by what the true meaning of the forehead kiss actually is. In the movie "The Best Man" Taye Diggs character made the "forehead kiss" his signature. From what I could gather from his reasoning for doing the forehead kiss was to limit intimate interaction. He never wanted to become "too" close to the women he surrounded himself with. The kiss was sweet yet distant.

Personally, I find the forehead kiss to be endearing and thoughtful. It can represent his respect for you to not attempt to slobber you down everytime he attempts to kiss you. It is a sweet gesture in my eyes. By nature most men are not affectionate in the same manner as women. Yes, some men like to kiss, touch, and feel but most times it is because they are in the act of an intimate moment. I think women are prone to give their spouse a kiss in the cheek.

I did a search of "forehead kiss" and to my surprise it is hot topic. One of the websites I clicked on had a video of a guy and girl duo who gave relationship advice http://www.girlsaskguys.com/Other-Questions/10647-what-does-a-kiss-on-the-forehead-mean.html. They think the forehead kiss has two meanings; the guy wants to keep you in the "friend zone" or he is doing it from a fraternal point of view. I don't understand why someone would date a guy that could be confused about being interested romantically or from a father perspective. If you do, seek counseling to find out the root of that problem. Wouldn't most guys who want to keep a woman in the "friend zone" limit almost all physical interaction if that was his motive? Why kiss a woman anywhere or at anytime if you're trying to keep her in the friend zone? The kiss has a different meaning for different people. To each his own!

My 'Fro Woes

As I sit in my bathroom after washing and conditioning my hair, I become frustrated! Since becoming a naturalista, I have had failed attempts at achieving a curly like afro. My hair is too soft to make the rounded off look I see so many natural divas rocking!

I have tried it all; air drying, diffusing, scrunching while diffusing, etc. I have flat twisted, braided, two strand twist, three strand twist, bantu knotted my self crazy. Nothing will work. Don't get me wrong, I love my curl pattern (3b,c,4a) but I want VOLUME,  VOLUME, VOLUME, and MORE VOLUME!!! I am becoming obsessed but from I am learning from the 1,000 and one natural hair gurus on youtube, is that when traveling on this natural hair journey I have to be patient. Although it has been more than two years since my last relaxer I am still de-programming my mind from the instantaneous changes that I was accustomed to that came from the "creamy crack" process. I have to accept that my natural curls require an abundance of T.L.C.

It is a constant process. Some say, "A" is for afro but right now I feel as if "A" is for aggravation! Maybe one day when Im not trying to make it afro like it will take shape on its own. Do you think its possible? Lets cross our fingers.

I did a braid/two strand twist combo yesterday after washing.After washing, deep conditioning, and detangling with the denman brush I sectioned my hair off and braided the roots. Next I two-strand twisted the ends. Added coconut oil and let it air dry. After drying over night, I separated each braid/twist and lightly fingered through it.

As you can see from the look on my face I was not all that pleased with the outcome. I think its cute if this was the look I was shooting for but thats not the case. I was attempting to stay away from the "mushroom" look.

The Heart Beat

His essence is intoxicating
He is a visionary
His drive for the finer things in life are not done boastfully
Acting in silence
Working ever so diligently to build a palace


A place where the very being of his unquestionable manliness will dwell
A place where he will eat good
Live good
Love well
A place that he will build rooms on top of rooms for when my belly will swell

The very sound of his voice is exactly what my ears have always been waiting to listen for
The answer to prayers I have yet to pray
His words encourage me
They purify and keep my soul in a constant state of clean
His words have a hold on me
Those words explore my mind as if it were his fingers tracing every inch of my body

Forever growing and helping to expand my view on this world
Understanding and relating to my struggle
Knowing the trials and tribulations I face because my skin is similar to color of when caramel begins to boil
Walking side by side
Never leaving me behind
Through his heart I find the true meaning of how one should be kind

How did he convince me of his greatness?
Well, that my dear  as you can see that can not be explained in just one line.

His Lady...His Everything

Can you love him enough to be more than just his lady?
Can you be not only his lady but his lover?
His wife
His girlfriend 
His "friend girl"
His homie, his stylist
His "potna", his biggest fan
The one to tell him on his worst day that he's still the man


Can you be his teammate?
His nurse and doctor 
His professor


Can you be the one that he can count on?
The one that he knows that when the chips are down, you won't fold
The one that can assure him that his deepest secrets will never be told


Can you be his chef?
His first choice for the mother of his seeds
The one he will gladly let lead
His spiritual companion, and so much more
Again I ask, can you love him enough to be MORE than just his "lady"?

The End of The Honey Moon

Aaah a new relationship can be a great time. The beginning stages are typically referred to as "the honey moon" stage. When you first meet there are long talks, passionate kisses, lots of hugs, in depth talks exploring one anthers soul and so on and so on. But what happens after that comes to an end? The two of you are comfortable or maybe for just one of you the newness of the relationship has worn off. 
This is a time when creative thinking and resilience of the two people in the relationship is CRUCIAL! As a couple you have the foundation already but now is the time to continue to build on that relationship. In order to grow together, you have to share life experiences together. Relationships require work, lots of work. For example, when you're working on a team project at work you have to communicate. Thats how you reach your goal and complete the tasks along the way to get there. 
When people become comfortable with one another, they forget to remind each other of what made them attracted to each other, what they cherish most about one another, and what has kept them with one another. Humans, not matter how unselfish, crave validation. No one wants to feel like the high school out cast who said to the cool kids, "Hey would you hang out with me?" At times one may feel like that. 
No matter how much a barrel of fun you may feel you are, if your significant other doesn't look at the time spent together as something they enjoy but more as a chore can be a blow to someones ego. Does this happen because the time spent is taken for granted? Does the honey moon end because one of you has become bored with the relationship? Whatever the answer may be in various situations, ALL relationships go through high and low points. Hopefully the bond, attraction, connection, and love is strong and genuine enough to withstand these times!

Who the **** is Bruce Springstein

6 Creative Ways To Keep Her Happy

1. Mental Stimulation
Guys, you can instantly put a smile on her face by sending a text message or email that is thoughtful, sweet, and a little dirty. Send her something that will stay on her mind through out her day at work during those boring meetings or those afternoon play dates with the neighbors' kids. Women love and appreciate it when their men can stimulate their cerebrum. Remember the mind controls the body. Stimulate her mind and you're guaranteed to have stimulated her in other "areas" as well.

2. Edible Loving
Instead of merely cooking her a dinner (which is always appreciated) try something a little more intimate, create an exquisite meal together! If you have a few bucks to splurge, go to a cooking class together. It doesn't necessarily have to be a cooking class geared towards only dinner, maybe a pastry/dessert class.
If you're trying to make her smile but trying to stay recession free, you can do this at home too. All you'll need is your DVR, the Food Network, and the necessary groceries. If you have a favorite TV personality on the Food Network you can record one of their shows you have previously viewed to use as the cooking guide for you and your lady. When she comes in from work or has put the little one to bed, tell her your plans for making a romantic dinner for two, by two!

3. Revive The Chivalry
When your out at a fancy schmancy restaurant open the car door, the restaurant door, pull out her chair, and let her sit down before you do. To really add an extra touch of "old school game" to the evening out, when she excuses herself to the restroom, stand when she leaves and re-enters. Your grandfathers used this to keep you're grandmother all these years, so it must work, right?

4. Tune Her Into A Tune
The power and accessibility of the internet can be used as a one of your methods to make her blush. If the two of you are behind a computer at a desk at work all day, you can dedicate a tune to her via internet. If you both listen to the same internet radio station, when a song that is your favorite or her favorite is on air, shoot her an email to tell her the song reminds you of her or it explains exactly how she makes you feel. Another internet wooing tool is youtube. Email or text her the link to the love song that is dear to your hearts.

5. Please Her 101
If she has been busy lately and you know that list of things that she hasn't had time to complete, do some of those tasks for her. While she is napping, if she needs her car washed or her oil changed be a sweetheart take care of it for her. She'll love the fact that you turned something so practical into a loving gesture!

6. She Wants That Old Thing Back
Remember when you first began dating one another and you couldn't get enough of her kisses or touch, bring that back. When she least expects it, kiss her like you used to, passionately. Women love to be kissed, it is a very intimate and sensual act. Plus if you start with a passionate kiss, she'll bring some old things back that she used to do early in the relationship!

Power Struggle

Relationships between a man and woman vary from person to person but with in every relationship there is a power struggle between significant others. I was once told that the person who doesn't have as much of an emotional investment holds the power with in a relationship.

Naturally, when in relationships and emotions begin to run high, ones protective walls begin to come down. In the process of someone becoming more and more comfortable with their significant other, someone can become vulnerable and let down their guard. What happens when this only happens on one end of the relationship? What if their emotional investment is not equally yolked?

To not have those feelings reciprocated from that special someone can really hurt. It may not be done blatantly to put up road blocks to ward off your love coming their way but when you begin to wonder why someone may not feel the way you feel or want to see you as much it can be difficult to understand. Ok, yes depending on that persons past experiences in relationships they may be a little more guarded when in a new situation. If this is the case this is where clear lines of communications have to be established because when things are left up for interpretation it can be disastrous. If you cant speak freely to one another, why be together? You don't get into a relationship to keep secrets. You get into a relationship because you have a genuine cosmic attraction to that person.

There are some people who play on others emotions because they know they have the upper hand in the relationship. Now that is just mean and childish. Hopefully no one is experiencing that because thats trifling.

My mother always told me that a relationship works better if the man is into the woman more than she is into him. What do you think? It is true that some men easily become bored. This is understandable since men are "hunters". Once a lion hunts its first prey it doesn't loose its urge to hunt even after being put into captivity at the zoo. I guess that is why zoologist continue to find new ways to engage the lion. What can women do to keep them engaged? My best guess is to just continue to be yourself.

In relationships despite the natural power struggle, everyone has played the submissive role before. Relationships go through phases and despite whether it is a high peak or a low peak, one of the two people will switch roles from time to time. I think the key is to have both parties be strong where the other person may be weak. Remember relationships, dating, and love are a hell of a roller coaster. Know what you're getting your self into.

Can You Hear Me Now?

Have you ever had the unbearable feeling to scream, "Can you hear me now?" Many of you make think that I am referring to the shoddy cell phone service we all experience from time to time but I am not. Sometimes you can talk to someone, whether it be your family, friends, or significant other, until you are damn near blue in the face. After you have done all of that yapping, you still seem to feel that they have not heard what you are saying.



There are times when we must all speak with our actions because words have so little value in todays world. A woman can tell her man that she wants to spend more time with him a thousand times but he may not "hear" her until she finds a new hobby to pass her time. Sometimes people do not hear your words because they may have their own issues they're battling with in the realms of their minds or they may take your words for granted. If someone is dealing with something personally, thats understandable but wouldn't it be nice it they could just say so instead of throwing the fake ear to you? Just speak up people. On the other hand if that person is taking your words for granted then you have a problem Houston. No one should ever become too comfortable. Everyone knows the old saying, "Tomorrow is never promised." The one day that someone goes unheard could be the day they were on edge.



The number one thing I love about my mom above everything else is that whenever I needed to talk to her no matter what it may have been about or what she may have been doing at the time, she always listened to me. She never made me feel as if I wasn't being heard. Thats why until this very day I believe she can proudly say that she knows who her daughter is. There are a lot of parents who didn't leave the communication lines open with their children and have no idea who their children really are at the core.I guess growing up with someone so willing to listen and who taught me how to be a sincere listener, may be the reason why it shocks me when others aren't the same.



Parents listen to your kids, if you won't the wrong person will. Siblings attempt to hear one another out. Friends lend an open ear because you never know if your friends are on edge. Boyfriends/girlfriends listen to your significant other because that's a great way to show your love and appreciation for them because their words shouldn't be taken for granted.

Let's Make It Happen!

There are somethings that HAVE to shake. I am going to kick my job search and life change in to full throttle. Tomorrow when I awaken I will make my to-do list. It will have my goals ranging from short term to long term. First thing on my list is to purchase a book, "Write It Down, Make It Happen", that I heard from one of my favorite youtube gurus, Shira J (SugarfreeTV).

Shira J of SugarFreeTV
My life change will come in small changes. I always believed that when people try to change everything about themselves and their situation over night it's not a "true" change, it's a temporary adjustment. Since I want great things, I must search out great opportunities. My bf told me the other day, "If you shoot for peanuts, you get peanuts." None of us can go through life wanting things that require us to give our all, the best of who we are but only put forth little effort to obtain it.
I encourage everyone to start this life change with me tomorrow. Take a piece of paper and write down your goals, the things that you want to happen and the things that you will MAKE happen from now on. Remember don't let things happen to, you make things happen for you!

Kinky Curly Wave Coarse Coils

My natural hair journey began fall of 2008. I had had enough of the "creamy crack"...yes I too was addicted to the harsh chemicals of permanent relaxers. I had my first relaxer when I was 12 years old, maybe even younger. I begged my mother to let me get a perm. When she finally gave in that was my first disappointment with chemical relaxers. I had fallen in love with the "Just For Me" commercials. I thought that once the relaxer was applied to my hair, it would cascade down my back like the little girls on the boxes and commercials.

After the stylist applied and washed the relaxer from my hair I touched my hair saying, "Where is my long hair?" She responded, "What are you talking about?" I said,"On the commercial the girl gets a perm, it shoots threw her scalp and then her hair goes down her back." The stylist chuckled at my description of the after affects of a relaxer. I will admit that when I think about it now I have to laugh at myself.



Over the years my hair grew some but it never retained the length that I always longed for. When I was in my sophomore year in college I found a new stylist in my college town and for the next two years she helped to guide me on my hair care path. At that time I was getting a relaxer maybe twice a year and I had hi-lites in the front of my hair. It grew to be a little past my shoulders.

In my last year of college my hair began to break off only on the left side. At the time I thought it was due to over processing of my hair with the coloring but I later came to the conclusion it was a combination of that and stress from school. If someone is severely stressed out it can affect your hair significantly. I was in my graduating semester with 18 credit hour course load, held two positions in the chapter of my sorority, worked, and was in limbo about what to do post graduation. So I had to start cutting my hair slowly to even it out. Then one day I made up my mind to not get anymore relaxers.



I didn't do a B.C.(big chop) like most naturals do when embarking on this road. I continued to do my regular roller wraps and had my ends clipped regularly to rid my hair of the perm. Recently, I cut about 3 inches of remaining perm off. Now it is completely natural. I still have to adjust to wearing my hair in its natural state in a much shorter length than what I am accustomed to but I am learning.



There are so many different products, techniques, youtube video gurus, hair styles, and opinions that can aid in caring for transitioning/natural hair. I still have no clue exactly what my hair type is. I think it is ranging from 3b to 4a.

I am still learning what my hair likes and what it will respond to. A friend told me that I am a product junkie. There is a lot of truth to that. As a natural it is so easy to become obsessed with finding products that work best for your hair. I encourage all of my natural sisters that the most needed things for maximizing natural hair growth are PATIENCE & TLC

Where Is The Black Love?

Love is an emotion that every live thing on earth craves. Whether it is a plant or a person, we need love, we long for it! Regardless of the fact that everything and everyone may not express it orally, we all know this is pretty much a fact.



The African-American community, in its yesteryears held its pride in the fact that black love and family were pillars in the community. From what I can see over the decades the make-up of a traditional family structure has deteriorated. Black love it seems to be something rare and almost unattainable in todays world. It's not rare or unattainable, it is something that is naturally embedded in our DNA but we have forgotten its benefits and purpose.



Seeing a beautiful, well adjusted, supportive black couple makes me smile. Black men love black women in a way no one else can and vice versa. Black men understand the struggles black women undergo in this world because not only are they a person of color but they are WOMEN. Women in general deal with misogynistic treatment from some men during their life time. Black women play such a strong role in the family structure as mothers, wives/girlfriends, counselors, cooks, seamstress, teachers, etc. Black women understand the trials and tribulations black men experience trying to make a name for themselves in this world. Black men provide the source of strength and the much needed foundation the family structure strives off of. They are providers (emotionally and financially), fathers, husbands/boyfriends, coaches, handymen, teachers, etc.



Black love may be hard to find because in more recent generations we have all sub-come to the "me" factor. In todays world, the corporate and entertainment arena, so much of it is geared towards encouraging people to maintain a certain lifestyle. This lifestyle in many ways always has an underlying "me" or "I" factor. I rarely see advertisements showcasing the "us" or "we" factor. Hell people in corporate America work for some companies that don't offer insurance to cover their employees families. That automatically erases the "we" or "us" factor. It's a crying shame that families cant even be in a common state of health together. This theme of selfishness has encouraged people to only think of themselves.



Most of our grandparents and great-grandparents were married with children by the age of 25. Sometimes I wonder what the secret ingredient was back then to have their marriages last 30, 40, or even 50+ years?


Ruby Dee & Ossie Davis
Married 60 Years
As the new generation in our community we will find our own way just like our elders did before us. Hopefully we will all find our own "Ruby Dee & Ossie Davis" type of love. It will happen for more of us if we think of love, relationships, dating, and marriages as a partnership instead of the old "ball and chain". Remember two heads are always better than one!

Natural Curly Hair Flat Ironed

Brown Beauty

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GRADUATE SCHOOL: SHOULD WE OR SHOULDN'T WE?

A little over a year ago I graduated from my beloved Southern University A&M College. As an incoming freshman from the mid-west, I was super excited about the next four years of scholastic success that I was ready to embark upon. Over the span of those 4 years, I watched the decline of our economy and the American job market. At the end of my four years, I had been left with a despicable taste in my mouth from the horror stories of the almost irrelevant need for recent college graduates in the job market.



I thought to my self, how could this be? I did everything that was instilled in me as a young child about education but the end result is not what I thought it would be. I completed high school in the top 10% of my class and graduated from one of the BEST historically black colleges in America. According to what the "American Dream" portrays for those of us who have achieved these goals, the next step is for us to get a "good job" post graduation. Well, this phase of the "American dream" is not as easy as it was portrayed to me and I am pretty sure some of you.



When I talk to older college graduates they always tell me to go back to school. Everyone says, "Go get your graduate degree!" My disposition with seeking another degree, which is supposedly going to help me get a "good job", is that if I have my bachelors degree and I am unable to find a "good job" now, why should I go into more debt for another degree that will not guarantee me a career post graduation? Does anyone else see the problem with this?



I had to sit back and analyze the structure of an educational institution. Colleges and universities are businesses. They have ties to our government. We are told repeatedly that the more education you pay an institution, your career will flourish. A vast majority of undergraduate, graduate, and doctoral students fund their scholastic careers with loans. I think this is a vicious cycle created between our universities and our government. If we will constantly battle with paying student loans but there aren't career paths available for this "elite" group of educated Americans, how will we EVER pay the loans back to the lenders?