His Lady...His Everything

Can you love him enough to be more than just his lady?
Can you be not only his lady but his lover?
His wife
His girlfriend 
His "friend girl"
His homie, his stylist
His "potna", his biggest fan
The one to tell him on his worst day that he's still the man


Can you be his teammate?
His nurse and doctor 
His professor


Can you be the one that he can count on?
The one that he knows that when the chips are down, you won't fold
The one that can assure him that his deepest secrets will never be told


Can you be his chef?
His first choice for the mother of his seeds
The one he will gladly let lead
His spiritual companion, and so much more
Again I ask, can you love him enough to be MORE than just his "lady"?

The End of The Honey Moon

Aaah a new relationship can be a great time. The beginning stages are typically referred to as "the honey moon" stage. When you first meet there are long talks, passionate kisses, lots of hugs, in depth talks exploring one anthers soul and so on and so on. But what happens after that comes to an end? The two of you are comfortable or maybe for just one of you the newness of the relationship has worn off. 
This is a time when creative thinking and resilience of the two people in the relationship is CRUCIAL! As a couple you have the foundation already but now is the time to continue to build on that relationship. In order to grow together, you have to share life experiences together. Relationships require work, lots of work. For example, when you're working on a team project at work you have to communicate. Thats how you reach your goal and complete the tasks along the way to get there. 
When people become comfortable with one another, they forget to remind each other of what made them attracted to each other, what they cherish most about one another, and what has kept them with one another. Humans, not matter how unselfish, crave validation. No one wants to feel like the high school out cast who said to the cool kids, "Hey would you hang out with me?" At times one may feel like that. 
No matter how much a barrel of fun you may feel you are, if your significant other doesn't look at the time spent together as something they enjoy but more as a chore can be a blow to someones ego. Does this happen because the time spent is taken for granted? Does the honey moon end because one of you has become bored with the relationship? Whatever the answer may be in various situations, ALL relationships go through high and low points. Hopefully the bond, attraction, connection, and love is strong and genuine enough to withstand these times!

6 Creative Ways To Keep Her Happy

1. Mental Stimulation
Guys, you can instantly put a smile on her face by sending a text message or email that is thoughtful, sweet, and a little dirty. Send her something that will stay on her mind through out her day at work during those boring meetings or those afternoon play dates with the neighbors' kids. Women love and appreciate it when their men can stimulate their cerebrum. Remember the mind controls the body. Stimulate her mind and you're guaranteed to have stimulated her in other "areas" as well.

2. Edible Loving
Instead of merely cooking her a dinner (which is always appreciated) try something a little more intimate, create an exquisite meal together! If you have a few bucks to splurge, go to a cooking class together. It doesn't necessarily have to be a cooking class geared towards only dinner, maybe a pastry/dessert class.
If you're trying to make her smile but trying to stay recession free, you can do this at home too. All you'll need is your DVR, the Food Network, and the necessary groceries. If you have a favorite TV personality on the Food Network you can record one of their shows you have previously viewed to use as the cooking guide for you and your lady. When she comes in from work or has put the little one to bed, tell her your plans for making a romantic dinner for two, by two!

3. Revive The Chivalry
When your out at a fancy schmancy restaurant open the car door, the restaurant door, pull out her chair, and let her sit down before you do. To really add an extra touch of "old school game" to the evening out, when she excuses herself to the restroom, stand when she leaves and re-enters. Your grandfathers used this to keep you're grandmother all these years, so it must work, right?

4. Tune Her Into A Tune
The power and accessibility of the internet can be used as a one of your methods to make her blush. If the two of you are behind a computer at a desk at work all day, you can dedicate a tune to her via internet. If you both listen to the same internet radio station, when a song that is your favorite or her favorite is on air, shoot her an email to tell her the song reminds you of her or it explains exactly how she makes you feel. Another internet wooing tool is youtube. Email or text her the link to the love song that is dear to your hearts.

5. Please Her 101
If she has been busy lately and you know that list of things that she hasn't had time to complete, do some of those tasks for her. While she is napping, if she needs her car washed or her oil changed be a sweetheart take care of it for her. She'll love the fact that you turned something so practical into a loving gesture!

6. She Wants That Old Thing Back
Remember when you first began dating one another and you couldn't get enough of her kisses or touch, bring that back. When she least expects it, kiss her like you used to, passionately. Women love to be kissed, it is a very intimate and sensual act. Plus if you start with a passionate kiss, she'll bring some old things back that she used to do early in the relationship!

Power Struggle

Relationships between a man and woman vary from person to person but with in every relationship there is a power struggle between significant others. I was once told that the person who doesn't have as much of an emotional investment holds the power with in a relationship.

Naturally, when in relationships and emotions begin to run high, ones protective walls begin to come down. In the process of someone becoming more and more comfortable with their significant other, someone can become vulnerable and let down their guard. What happens when this only happens on one end of the relationship? What if their emotional investment is not equally yolked?

To not have those feelings reciprocated from that special someone can really hurt. It may not be done blatantly to put up road blocks to ward off your love coming their way but when you begin to wonder why someone may not feel the way you feel or want to see you as much it can be difficult to understand. Ok, yes depending on that persons past experiences in relationships they may be a little more guarded when in a new situation. If this is the case this is where clear lines of communications have to be established because when things are left up for interpretation it can be disastrous. If you cant speak freely to one another, why be together? You don't get into a relationship to keep secrets. You get into a relationship because you have a genuine cosmic attraction to that person.

There are some people who play on others emotions because they know they have the upper hand in the relationship. Now that is just mean and childish. Hopefully no one is experiencing that because thats trifling.

My mother always told me that a relationship works better if the man is into the woman more than she is into him. What do you think? It is true that some men easily become bored. This is understandable since men are "hunters". Once a lion hunts its first prey it doesn't loose its urge to hunt even after being put into captivity at the zoo. I guess that is why zoologist continue to find new ways to engage the lion. What can women do to keep them engaged? My best guess is to just continue to be yourself.

In relationships despite the natural power struggle, everyone has played the submissive role before. Relationships go through phases and despite whether it is a high peak or a low peak, one of the two people will switch roles from time to time. I think the key is to have both parties be strong where the other person may be weak. Remember relationships, dating, and love are a hell of a roller coaster. Know what you're getting your self into.

Can You Hear Me Now?

Have you ever had the unbearable feeling to scream, "Can you hear me now?" Many of you make think that I am referring to the shoddy cell phone service we all experience from time to time but I am not. Sometimes you can talk to someone, whether it be your family, friends, or significant other, until you are damn near blue in the face. After you have done all of that yapping, you still seem to feel that they have not heard what you are saying.



There are times when we must all speak with our actions because words have so little value in todays world. A woman can tell her man that she wants to spend more time with him a thousand times but he may not "hear" her until she finds a new hobby to pass her time. Sometimes people do not hear your words because they may have their own issues they're battling with in the realms of their minds or they may take your words for granted. If someone is dealing with something personally, thats understandable but wouldn't it be nice it they could just say so instead of throwing the fake ear to you? Just speak up people. On the other hand if that person is taking your words for granted then you have a problem Houston. No one should ever become too comfortable. Everyone knows the old saying, "Tomorrow is never promised." The one day that someone goes unheard could be the day they were on edge.



The number one thing I love about my mom above everything else is that whenever I needed to talk to her no matter what it may have been about or what she may have been doing at the time, she always listened to me. She never made me feel as if I wasn't being heard. Thats why until this very day I believe she can proudly say that she knows who her daughter is. There are a lot of parents who didn't leave the communication lines open with their children and have no idea who their children really are at the core.I guess growing up with someone so willing to listen and who taught me how to be a sincere listener, may be the reason why it shocks me when others aren't the same.



Parents listen to your kids, if you won't the wrong person will. Siblings attempt to hear one another out. Friends lend an open ear because you never know if your friends are on edge. Boyfriends/girlfriends listen to your significant other because that's a great way to show your love and appreciation for them because their words shouldn't be taken for granted.

Where Is The Black Love?

Love is an emotion that every live thing on earth craves. Whether it is a plant or a person, we need love, we long for it! Regardless of the fact that everything and everyone may not express it orally, we all know this is pretty much a fact.



The African-American community, in its yesteryears held its pride in the fact that black love and family were pillars in the community. From what I can see over the decades the make-up of a traditional family structure has deteriorated. Black love it seems to be something rare and almost unattainable in todays world. It's not rare or unattainable, it is something that is naturally embedded in our DNA but we have forgotten its benefits and purpose.



Seeing a beautiful, well adjusted, supportive black couple makes me smile. Black men love black women in a way no one else can and vice versa. Black men understand the struggles black women undergo in this world because not only are they a person of color but they are WOMEN. Women in general deal with misogynistic treatment from some men during their life time. Black women play such a strong role in the family structure as mothers, wives/girlfriends, counselors, cooks, seamstress, teachers, etc. Black women understand the trials and tribulations black men experience trying to make a name for themselves in this world. Black men provide the source of strength and the much needed foundation the family structure strives off of. They are providers (emotionally and financially), fathers, husbands/boyfriends, coaches, handymen, teachers, etc.



Black love may be hard to find because in more recent generations we have all sub-come to the "me" factor. In todays world, the corporate and entertainment arena, so much of it is geared towards encouraging people to maintain a certain lifestyle. This lifestyle in many ways always has an underlying "me" or "I" factor. I rarely see advertisements showcasing the "us" or "we" factor. Hell people in corporate America work for some companies that don't offer insurance to cover their employees families. That automatically erases the "we" or "us" factor. It's a crying shame that families cant even be in a common state of health together. This theme of selfishness has encouraged people to only think of themselves.



Most of our grandparents and great-grandparents were married with children by the age of 25. Sometimes I wonder what the secret ingredient was back then to have their marriages last 30, 40, or even 50+ years?


Ruby Dee & Ossie Davis
Married 60 Years
As the new generation in our community we will find our own way just like our elders did before us. Hopefully we will all find our own "Ruby Dee & Ossie Davis" type of love. It will happen for more of us if we think of love, relationships, dating, and marriages as a partnership instead of the old "ball and chain". Remember two heads are always better than one!