Let's Make It Happen!

There are somethings that HAVE to shake. I am going to kick my job search and life change in to full throttle. Tomorrow when I awaken I will make my to-do list. It will have my goals ranging from short term to long term. First thing on my list is to purchase a book, "Write It Down, Make It Happen", that I heard from one of my favorite youtube gurus, Shira J (SugarfreeTV).

Shira J of SugarFreeTV
My life change will come in small changes. I always believed that when people try to change everything about themselves and their situation over night it's not a "true" change, it's a temporary adjustment. Since I want great things, I must search out great opportunities. My bf told me the other day, "If you shoot for peanuts, you get peanuts." None of us can go through life wanting things that require us to give our all, the best of who we are but only put forth little effort to obtain it.
I encourage everyone to start this life change with me tomorrow. Take a piece of paper and write down your goals, the things that you want to happen and the things that you will MAKE happen from now on. Remember don't let things happen to, you make things happen for you!

Kinky Curly Wave Coarse Coils

My natural hair journey began fall of 2008. I had had enough of the "creamy crack"...yes I too was addicted to the harsh chemicals of permanent relaxers. I had my first relaxer when I was 12 years old, maybe even younger. I begged my mother to let me get a perm. When she finally gave in that was my first disappointment with chemical relaxers. I had fallen in love with the "Just For Me" commercials. I thought that once the relaxer was applied to my hair, it would cascade down my back like the little girls on the boxes and commercials.

After the stylist applied and washed the relaxer from my hair I touched my hair saying, "Where is my long hair?" She responded, "What are you talking about?" I said,"On the commercial the girl gets a perm, it shoots threw her scalp and then her hair goes down her back." The stylist chuckled at my description of the after affects of a relaxer. I will admit that when I think about it now I have to laugh at myself.



Over the years my hair grew some but it never retained the length that I always longed for. When I was in my sophomore year in college I found a new stylist in my college town and for the next two years she helped to guide me on my hair care path. At that time I was getting a relaxer maybe twice a year and I had hi-lites in the front of my hair. It grew to be a little past my shoulders.

In my last year of college my hair began to break off only on the left side. At the time I thought it was due to over processing of my hair with the coloring but I later came to the conclusion it was a combination of that and stress from school. If someone is severely stressed out it can affect your hair significantly. I was in my graduating semester with 18 credit hour course load, held two positions in the chapter of my sorority, worked, and was in limbo about what to do post graduation. So I had to start cutting my hair slowly to even it out. Then one day I made up my mind to not get anymore relaxers.



I didn't do a B.C.(big chop) like most naturals do when embarking on this road. I continued to do my regular roller wraps and had my ends clipped regularly to rid my hair of the perm. Recently, I cut about 3 inches of remaining perm off. Now it is completely natural. I still have to adjust to wearing my hair in its natural state in a much shorter length than what I am accustomed to but I am learning.



There are so many different products, techniques, youtube video gurus, hair styles, and opinions that can aid in caring for transitioning/natural hair. I still have no clue exactly what my hair type is. I think it is ranging from 3b to 4a.

I am still learning what my hair likes and what it will respond to. A friend told me that I am a product junkie. There is a lot of truth to that. As a natural it is so easy to become obsessed with finding products that work best for your hair. I encourage all of my natural sisters that the most needed things for maximizing natural hair growth are PATIENCE & TLC

Where Is The Black Love?

Love is an emotion that every live thing on earth craves. Whether it is a plant or a person, we need love, we long for it! Regardless of the fact that everything and everyone may not express it orally, we all know this is pretty much a fact.



The African-American community, in its yesteryears held its pride in the fact that black love and family were pillars in the community. From what I can see over the decades the make-up of a traditional family structure has deteriorated. Black love it seems to be something rare and almost unattainable in todays world. It's not rare or unattainable, it is something that is naturally embedded in our DNA but we have forgotten its benefits and purpose.



Seeing a beautiful, well adjusted, supportive black couple makes me smile. Black men love black women in a way no one else can and vice versa. Black men understand the struggles black women undergo in this world because not only are they a person of color but they are WOMEN. Women in general deal with misogynistic treatment from some men during their life time. Black women play such a strong role in the family structure as mothers, wives/girlfriends, counselors, cooks, seamstress, teachers, etc. Black women understand the trials and tribulations black men experience trying to make a name for themselves in this world. Black men provide the source of strength and the much needed foundation the family structure strives off of. They are providers (emotionally and financially), fathers, husbands/boyfriends, coaches, handymen, teachers, etc.



Black love may be hard to find because in more recent generations we have all sub-come to the "me" factor. In todays world, the corporate and entertainment arena, so much of it is geared towards encouraging people to maintain a certain lifestyle. This lifestyle in many ways always has an underlying "me" or "I" factor. I rarely see advertisements showcasing the "us" or "we" factor. Hell people in corporate America work for some companies that don't offer insurance to cover their employees families. That automatically erases the "we" or "us" factor. It's a crying shame that families cant even be in a common state of health together. This theme of selfishness has encouraged people to only think of themselves.



Most of our grandparents and great-grandparents were married with children by the age of 25. Sometimes I wonder what the secret ingredient was back then to have their marriages last 30, 40, or even 50+ years?


Ruby Dee & Ossie Davis
Married 60 Years
As the new generation in our community we will find our own way just like our elders did before us. Hopefully we will all find our own "Ruby Dee & Ossie Davis" type of love. It will happen for more of us if we think of love, relationships, dating, and marriages as a partnership instead of the old "ball and chain". Remember two heads are always better than one!

Natural Curly Hair Flat Ironed

Brown Beauty

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GRADUATE SCHOOL: SHOULD WE OR SHOULDN'T WE?

A little over a year ago I graduated from my beloved Southern University A&M College. As an incoming freshman from the mid-west, I was super excited about the next four years of scholastic success that I was ready to embark upon. Over the span of those 4 years, I watched the decline of our economy and the American job market. At the end of my four years, I had been left with a despicable taste in my mouth from the horror stories of the almost irrelevant need for recent college graduates in the job market.



I thought to my self, how could this be? I did everything that was instilled in me as a young child about education but the end result is not what I thought it would be. I completed high school in the top 10% of my class and graduated from one of the BEST historically black colleges in America. According to what the "American Dream" portrays for those of us who have achieved these goals, the next step is for us to get a "good job" post graduation. Well, this phase of the "American dream" is not as easy as it was portrayed to me and I am pretty sure some of you.



When I talk to older college graduates they always tell me to go back to school. Everyone says, "Go get your graduate degree!" My disposition with seeking another degree, which is supposedly going to help me get a "good job", is that if I have my bachelors degree and I am unable to find a "good job" now, why should I go into more debt for another degree that will not guarantee me a career post graduation? Does anyone else see the problem with this?



I had to sit back and analyze the structure of an educational institution. Colleges and universities are businesses. They have ties to our government. We are told repeatedly that the more education you pay an institution, your career will flourish. A vast majority of undergraduate, graduate, and doctoral students fund their scholastic careers with loans. I think this is a vicious cycle created between our universities and our government. If we will constantly battle with paying student loans but there aren't career paths available for this "elite" group of educated Americans, how will we EVER pay the loans back to the lenders?