Old School Reading Rainbow Theme

HAIR TYPE

Is Your Friend Equipped To Be Your Advisor?

Do you have a friend that always wags their trusty index finger in your face about your love life and what direction you should go with it? All friends are not qualified to give relationship advice. Again I repeat, ALL FRIENDS ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO GIVE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE! When seeking advice one must always consider the source. For example, when someone wants a loan they seek out a reliable source that has the funds to lend a loan. People do not go around asking broke people for money. 


Men: When you're hanging with your homeboys and discussing what stage your relationship is at with your girlfriend, try to refrain from seeking advice from the rotten apples in your bunch. If your homeboy is married but unhappy and secretly wishes he was still single, he may not be the best source of advice. He will probably put a wee bit of pressure on you to still hit the streets and "f&*# the hoes." Hopefully you have a strong mind and can sense when the crabs in the barrel are trying to pull you down. First of all, he is probably a little jealous of your "freedom". Secondly, always remember that jealous people are usually unhappy people and you know misery loves company. Or,  a group of your boys are always teasing you about how you're spending too much time with your girlfriend. Isn't one of the reasons she is your girlfriend because you wanted to spend more and more time with her? Plus after a certain age the whole O.C./"bro's before hoes" pledge has to be put to bed. Understood men need that male camaraderie, ok thats completely understandable, but everything has to have a balance. Remember your friends can't take care of you, love you, bare children, or be your backbone like your woman can. Eve came from Adams rib, not Tom, Dick, and Raheem! LOL

Women: I know y'all didn't think I wasn't going to give the real to y'all ladies? I cant leave y'all out. Ok so as women we automatically look to our girls for advice about relationships. We too have to be careful of who we look to for relationship advice, especially because by nature some women are a tad bit cattier than others. If your best friend is single, unhappy, and president of the local male bashing club, talk to your self in public like a crazy person before you even utter a word to her. You know that the first thing out of her mouth will be, "Men ain't sh#&!" Always remember to refer to what you know about your so called advisors personal situation before you seek their help. Friends that are in a good place in life and are a source of positivity for you in other areas will most likely give you non-biast advice. 

Ladies, remember that your relationship with your man is so much different from your relationship with your homegirls. Your man provides a certain intimacy that your friends can never fulfill. Try to find a healthy balance between time with the girls and your time with your honey. 

Remember in a relationship the best person to talk to about how you're feeling is the person your in the relationship with. No one else knows more about what y'all go through together than the two of you!

Team Positive

I wanted to encourage everyone to stay positive this coming school year or on your new/old jobs. When you are being bashed over the head with negativity, take the time to say, "Thank You." I am thankful for being given the opportunity to start graduate school. It was something that originally I never wanted to do but a very important person encouraged me to pursue the goal. Recently I wrote down a list of goals and things that I wanted to make happen for myself. The first thing on that list was pursuing a graduate degree. Although I was hopeful and prayerful about the goal I didn't expect for my very first thing written down would come to pass so quickly.

This has solidified for me that there are great things to come for me. Yes, nothing in this life comes without hardships but in the end I am sure it will all have been worth it. My daily affirmation when faced with a trial, tribulation, or any form of negativity will be to use it as a tool for self-motivation. Every trying time and unkind word spoken to me will be the fuel to me continuing to build the foundation of  better life for myself. I am going to use it to obtain the ultimate goal, being TOTALLY independent. I will make it happen. People always say that when your at the bottom there is no place to go but up. That is exactly where I am headed.

Is He Cheating or Being Emotionally Unfaithful?

The male mind is something that can be very tricky for women to understand. I suggest women take the over flow of emotions that they identify with when trying to understand a man's actions and throw them to the waist side. Place yourself in a very realist borderline pessimistic frame of mind. As we all know, I'm pretty sure the guys will agree with me, men are visual, physical, and sexual by nature. It is apart of their make up to be "hunters" and that these characteristics are all animalistic, I understand the possibility as to how men can physically cheat without being emotionally unfaithful.

SCENARIO I:
Lets paint a picture so that you understand what angle I am coming from. Let's say Brian is out for a night on the town with the boys. While at the club he meets a chick, they exchange a few words and phone numbers. After the club Brian meets up with the chick, has sex with her, gathers his things and goes home to his girlfriend, Sheila. Brian never acted differently towards Sheila and she never found out.

In this scenario, Brian's actions were purely physical. He didn't see the random chick in the club and think, "Oh bump Sheila. I think I just met wifey!" No, his "Johnson" saw something that it wanted and he got it. Brian doesn't love Sheila any less than he did before. He physically cheated. For some men, this act of physical infidelity is minuscule in comparison to being emotionally unfaithful.

SCENARIO II:
Ok so Brian has been promoted at work and is working in a new department at work. He meets Tina who he will have to work closely with on various projects. Over time, Brian and Tina become good friends from working long hours and numerous work related lunches/dinners. Brian and his longtime girlfriend, Sheila still hang out but over time she feels as if he is becoming distant in their relationship. Brian and Tina have shared personal stories and experiences with each other time after time. He starts to feel something for Tina that he is not so sure he feels for Sheila anymore. Brian is unsure what his feelings are exactly but he knows that what ever it is he feels for Tina is overshadowing what he feels for Sheila. He thinks about Tina more and even texts her when he is around Sheila. He doesn't know what to do.

Now in scenario two, it is obvious to see that Brian has become emotionally attracted to and attached to his co-worker Tina. Men are not initially emotional creatures, those are emotions that are acquired over a period of time. During that time Brian, whether deliberately or subconsciously, made it a priority to spend time with another woman other than his girlfriend Sheila. His growing attraction and bond with Tina affected Sheila in a way that she noticed a change in their relationship. A woman can feel when her man is leaving her with an emotional vacancy. Brian was being emotionally unfaithful. He has made an emotional investment in Tina and their friendship.

Although both acts are deplorable situations to experience but we all wish things could be done unto us as we would do unto others but life is full of trials and tribulations. Which would you be able to forgive, your man physically cheating or being emotionally unfaithful?

Running Fast

Moving

Moving quickly through the phases of life

Anticipating the beautiful

Colorful 

Glowing and special changes life has to offer

Working hard

Very hard so that not only will your future with money prosper

but your family

Imagining the fairytale moments known to children

The big castle with the prince on a white horse tucked away in never never land

Living happily ever after

Paying it forward to the man struggling on the street

Glancing

Waving

Smiling at every person that by chance you should meet

Making your parents proud doing what they intended for you to do

Doing all the things they planned for your life the day they bestowed a name upon you

A name that you say with pride

A name that sets you aside from everyone else

The name that you would yell in a sea of 10,000 men with no plans to hide

No plans to hide who you are

Where you have come from

Or where you are going

Being the person that no one has any qualms about adoring

In this life you have grown

and now you stand tall

Taller than those who have tried to push you down

BREAKING POINT

Once I saw that my hair had broken off this much, I couldn't take it anymore. I had reached my "breaking point". So I prepared myself mentally for my B.C. (big chop). I had made up my mind to let go of the length (which was the relaxed ends) and become confident with shorter, HEALTHIER hair! July 3, 2010 was a day of empowerment. 

This is the day I got my hair cut, July 3rd. I loved it, cute lil bob...

Now my hair is at the density that I wanted and always longed for. I will continue to baby and nurture my hair. In the future I will post progression photos of my hair.